I am grateful for yesterday. In the late afternoon, I was laying on the floor in my apartment, under the window, when I sensed very clearly the Oneness of life. I really felt the inherent connection I have to the plants, animals, and people around me, and it was the most comforting and reassuring Truth I’ve known. Right now, one important aspect of this Oneness is that it makes being sick a lot easier.
I am one piece of Sacred Life, and right now I am one of the Sick pieces. But instantaneously, there is an infinite number of other heartbeats experiencing joy, health, freedom, and excitement (as well as misery, fear, and pain) all around me. I’m hurting now, but I have felt so much pleasure and elation before this; time is only linear if we want it to be. To me, deep-down and genuinely, my life is all happening at once. So for ten months now I have been designated Chronic Illness to carry (and, lest I forget, I’ve also been born into and come to expect a world of caring, privilege, opportunity, intellect, & beauty). For me and now (two partial truths), I am Illness and Physical Pain. But not forever and not apart. In any case, I can handle it.
And at this time, too, there are so many wonderful things happening in the lives of the people I care about; if I really focus on and take the time to dwell on this, I am giddy with gratitude. My patience stretches soft and languid. I hope to sustain this perspective. Of course, I’m not counting on it! Everything is delightfully impermanent.